Bedding

– Another Bank Holiday weekend. It hardly seems a month since the last one.
– They certainly come thick and fast at this time of year. At least they give you a chance to enjoy the spring sunshine and do some jobs around the house.
– Those seem somehow mutually exclusive.
– Do they?
– I think if you were pottering around the house, putting up shelves and sanding down the woodwork or whatever, you wouldn't see much of the spring sunshine.
– Well, you could potter around the garden. This is the time of year to plant out your bedding plants and introduce a spot of colour.
– I did manage to get hold of some plants today. I was just wondering what to do with them.
– You could try planting them.
– I always find it a good idea not to rush into these things, but to take the time to plan out where everything should go.
– I thought you didn't have that much garden to work with.
– It is certainly compact. But that is even more of a reason to get the design right.
– I thought it consisted mainly of pots.
– But there are quite a lot of pots.
– At least, if you don't like the layout, you could always move them around. That's the beauty of pots.
– If only it were that simple.
– It is that simple.
– Nothing is ever that simple.

Final

It's that time of year when things come to a dramatic end, leaving some exalting in victory, others despondent in defeat. I'm thinking in particular of the football season, which has just reached the unexpected conclusion of Leicester City topping the Premier League. And not to forget Man Utd winning the FA Cup, which was also not the surest of bets given their recent run of form. All in all it has been a peculiar season, with the usual favourites falling inexplicably below par. Leicester's achievement has prompted frenzied celebrations throughout the land, inspired by the belief that even the humblest and most downtrodden of underdogs can sometimes scale the loftiest pinnacles of success.

Perhaps these things are mere flukes: a perfect storm of fairly random events, as some teams seize all the chances that come their way while others stumble at every hurdle (providing you can stumble at a hurdle, as opposed to charging through it, knocking it for six; it's hard to keep these metaphors going sometimes). Still, we can take inspiration from these one-off sporting successes, and reflect that unexpected minor miracles may one day happen to us, too. We live in hope. At least that's better than living in despair.

Euro

– It is particularly sobering, don't you think, to watch this year's Eurovision Song Contest.
– It's not that bad. At least, no worse than usual.
– That's not quite what I meant.
– In fact, the staging is quite impressive. If it helps, you can turn the volume down and I'll be happy just watching the lighting effects.
– I was thinking more about how Europe is currently facing one of the most serious crises in its history.
– It is just a song contest. Of sorts.
– Again, I was referring to the broader political context. The appalling refugee problem, putting at risk the fundamental concept of the free movement of people, as countries begin to close down their borders to.asylum seekers fleeing from war-torn Syria. The faltering economies of many European countries, with enforced austerity prompting the rise of extremist political parties. Britain's own impending referendum on whether to turn our back on the European Union and hurl ourselves into the uncharted waters of life outside the Single Market.
– I suppose when you put it like that, things do look rather bleak. I am sure it will all turn out alright in the end. Common sense usually prevails. Usually.
– The polls for the EU referendum are still stubbornly neck and neck.
– They ought to bring out some big names to speak out for the Remain campaign. All these politicians tend to produce a negative effect on the voters.
– Do you have any suggestions?
– Perhaps instead of all these dreary political broadcasts they should just show snippets of Eurovision. Let people see the positive side of being in the EU.
– You might be on to something there. It can't do any worse.

Scorch

– It seems cooler outside.
– If you say so.
– It's been wearing, this unrelenting heat. It would be good if it eased off just a little.
– You're never happy. The other week you were complaining about the downpours and hailstorms.
– Quite. It was the start of May and the weather was like the middle of winter. Now a few days later we are sweltering in a tropical heatwave.
– And is that a problem?
– I rather like my seasons to fade gradually one to the next, with a bit of warning, if at all possible, rather than be plunged suddenly from one extreme to another.
– It makes life a little more exciting.
– I had only just put away my late winter/early spring coat in favour of my late spring jacket when after a couple of days I had go through my wardrobe to dig out my mid-summer jacket. And who knows what I will need tomorrow? It may well see the return of the duffel coat.
– It is always nice to have an excuse to wear a duffel coat.
– And what about the impact it has on the local flora and fauna? The daffodils were being flattened by golfball-sized hailstones last week. The swallows will not know whether they are meant to be coming or going.
– Do we get many swallows around here?
– I was trying to generalise. I just meant migrating birds in general. Not swallows in particular. They were just the first migrating bird that came to mind.
– I am sure they will work out what they are meant to be doing. When they catch sight of your duffel coat they will know it's time to fly south.