Cusp

– Another year over – New Year's Eve already. How time flies... Whatever happened to Christmas?
– I don't know. It sort of came and went. At least I think it did. I was a bit under the weather at the time. But I definitely remember something about a turkey.
– Perhaps it is not a bad thing for 2016 to come to an end. It's been an odd year – maybe not one of the happiest. Too many terrorist atrocities, too many celebrities passing away. Too many bizarre political twists and turns.
– We did quite well in the Olympics. And Leicester City won the league. It wasn't all doom and gloom.
– No, I suppose there were a few faint glimmers among the glowering clouds.
– And hopefully things will take a turn for the better next year. Perhaps we should all make a resolution never to mention Brexit or Donald Trump.
– If only it were that simple. I suspect they will continue to dominate the news in 2017, and for many years to come.
– But these things are out of our control. Sometimes it is not worth agonising over what we cannot hope to influence; rather, we should focus our efforts where we can have a positive impact. And if that is only in the realm of our own thoughts and feelings and actions, then that is enough: let us get ourselves in order, and maybe we can then better cope with the vagaries and injustices and turmoil that the outside world throws at us.
– You know, that is almost inspiring.
– I like to think so.
– Do you think it is time to break out the champagne?
– I'm not sure I bought any champagne.
– This is not sounding like the best start to 2017.
– You will thank me in the morning: you wouldn't want to welcome in the New Year with a hangover.
– I was looking forward to it.

Messiah

December already. December. Already.

Not sure where this year has gone. Is it four months since I last posted? What was I doing all that time? I went on holiday. For a week. In August. So other things must have happened too.

There has been a cloud hanging over the last four months. A cloud? Or a rainbow? I no longer know. I applied for a new job; was interviewed; was offered the job; accepted it, just about; was racked with doubt; resigned from my current job, just about; and here I am, in this disconcerting limbo of waiting for something to happen, waiting for the next wave of panic or the opening of the floodgates of relief.

Never an easy decision to make; not for me, at any rate. Comes down to choosing  between a more exciting, more rewarding new job versus comparative safety and security, tinged with dullness. Not an easy decision for someone as risk averse as I.

I want to get this out of the way, out of my head, so that I can focus on the rest of my life. On Christmas, at any rate, for the next few weeks. And then, everything else. The rest of my life.

I was listening to the Messiah in the car: one of my traditional ways to get into a Christmassy mood (along with listening to the whole cycle of Sibelius symphonies). It has worked its way under my skin. Took a long time to do so (I had sung it through with the choir without managing to really see the point of it), but now it seems so perfect. In a world where so little is.