Pumpkin

– It seems to have quietened down.
– Yes... In what way, exactly?
– The endless procession of trick-or-treaters beating down the door in pursuit of sweets.
– Of course... There weren't that many.
– There were enough.
– And most of them were quite young: mere infants.
– They start them early nowadays. But it's no excuse: if you give in to them, they'll only come back for more next year.
– But if you don't treat them, they may play some unwelcome trick.
– I'd like to see them try.
– I'm not sure you could do much about it. Especially when you're outnumbered. Perhaps discretion is the better part of valour. Just bribe them and they will go away.
– It is for their own good. They need to learn that you cannot make a success of your life through threats and extortion. And, besides, all that sugar will ruin their teeth.
– You could try healthier treats. Raw vegetables are good for you, they say.
– Do you think they would take kindly to a selection of cruditiés?
– Perhaps not. Or try hard cash. You could encourage them to begin saving for their old age.
– But again, is that the lesson you want to impart? That they do not have to work for their financial security, but that it will just be handed to them for nothing?
– Not quite for nothing: they do make an effort to get dressed up. Usually as something gruesome, but at least it shows willing.
– But still, it's hardly a serious profession.

Nightingale

– It seems to have gone very dark.
– That'll be the clocks. They went back yesterday.
– Even so, it should only be as dark as it would have been an hour later. Or do I mean earlier? Whatever it is, it shouldn't come as such a shock to the system. You feel as if you have been plunged into the middle of winter. With nothing to look forward to, but ever-shortening days and ever-worsening weather. Where are the songs of summer?
– Or possibly of spring, to quote Keats.
– If you say so. I am trying to express something on a grand and universal scale, without being fettered by unnecessary details.
– Or facts.
– Keats did not constrain his poetic muse by worrying over facts.
– "Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
    Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."
– My point exactly.
– I am sure Keats will be reassured that you are both of the same opinion.
– Only because we have shared an experience common to all men.
– Such as bemoaning the weather?
– I mean, to be dragged down by the cares and frustrations of the world.
– "Where but to think is to be full of sorrow
     And leaden-eyed despairs."
– Precisely. That's what I was trying to get at.
– Does this traumatic experience happen every time the clocks go back?
– It's not much better in the spring: then I worry about losing an hour of my life.

Holes

There seem to be roadworks everywhere. I know this has become a common feature of modern life, but at the moment there are far more of them obstructing the road network than we could wish for. Or perhaps the current number of roadworks is actually lower than the average: it is just that they are clustered in one narrow location, namely the route I drive to work. And perhaps the motoring population in general are collectively rejoicing at the minimal disruption they encounter in their daily commute; whereas a small group of us, feeling victimised and unappreciated, have to bear the brunt. I suppose I should take some solace from the knowledge that my selfless sacrifice benefits the rest of society; but I can't help thinking that the gratification should be spread around more evenly.

I do my best to take avoiding action, navigating ever-more circuitous routes to miss out the worst of the endless queues, the most unyielding of the temporary traffic lights, but there is a limit to what you can achieve without turning up to work halfway through the morning. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and put something soothing on the CD player. I am currently working my way through a box set of Mahler symphonies, which are just about long enough to get you through the worst of it.

Mooc

I am beginning to struggle. It has been many years since I last attended a lecture course, and my early enthusiasm for embarking on this one is starting to wane. The conferences I occasionally go along to don't really count, as they only last for a couple of days and you are generally consoled by staying in a smart hotel, with nice views and adequate catering. Things are different when you try to take an online course from home, particularly with respect to the views and the catering. The video lectures initially look quite modest in scope, but then you realise how little spare time you have in the evenings, what with the daily struggle of preparing dinner, general household chores and entertaining the cat. And they do insist on you submitting assignments on time, week after week, which seems a little unreasonable given you have volunteered to do the course out of the kindness of your own heart, and for minimal personal gain (unless you agree to pay for the certificate).

But knowledge is a precious gift, one which would be even more precious if it didn't have a habit of fading away almost as soon as it is acquired. I can readily sympathise with my daughter for managing to forget all the things she has learnt at school by the time she gets home.

Stellar

– So, have you ever considered entering a talent contest?
– Why do you ask?
– Well, they are very popular nowadays. Especially on TV. Saturday nights seem devoted to shows involving hopeful amateurs trying to become famous, or even minor celebrities seeking to revitalise a sagging career. It seems all you need is a modest degree of talent in singing, or ballroom dancing, or just about anything, really.
– And you thought I seemed a likely contestant?
– You must be good at something. It could turn out to be a lucrative new career.
– I am flattered you think I have the makings of a future star, but I am not sure what to suggest: I can't think of any particularly distinguishing talent I have.
– It was only an idea. I thought it might lead to a life-changing moment, with you becoming an overnight success and gaining immeasurable wealth.
– Do you think it is possible?
– Maybe, although I'm thinking I might have a go myself. If so, you would stand no chance.

Damp

– There you go: you make a point of mentioning how warm and summery the weather has been and then suddenly it all changes.
– It did get a bit wild this morning: wintry gales upending some of my flower pots. But it'll probably pass soon enough.
– I had to jump ahead in my outdoor wardrobe.
– Sorry?
– I had still been wearing my lightweight summer jacket, and was looking forward to moving on to a more substantial version better suited to the mild autumnal chill. But instead I had to get out my waterproof early winter coat.
– You seem very organised.
– No more than the next man–
– Probably a little more than the next man...
– It is just common sense to update your outer wear according to the weather.
– I suppose so.
– It is almost as if you don't think this is important.
– Do you have a late winter coat in addition to the early winter coat?
– Of course. Don't you?