Scarlet

– Well, the vote was over more quickly than I expected.
– Yes. Probably just as well. I was spending too much time on the internet, forever checking on the latest results. I couldn't have taken many more days of it.
– It was probably worse for the cardinals. Locked away from all communication with the outside world.
– Sometimes I think that might be a welcome relief, to be isolated from the perpetual buzz of modern society. Phone calls, texts, emails, news feeds, bombarding you every hour of the day.
– But you never receive any texts. And precious few phone calls.
– I don't know. There are frequently messages on my answer phone.
– You said they were cold callers offering to chase up your personal injury claims.
– Maybe. But at least they show some interest in my welfare. It is quite touching.
– Perhaps the cardinals had the same problem: they were fed up with cold callers.
– Not to mention that, had they stayed conclaved much longer, they would have missed Red Nose Day.
– I'm not sure they are really in to Red Nose Day in the Vatican City.
– A pity. It is all for a good cause, you know. Charity, and all that.