Slope

– It only seems a couple of years since the last Olympic games. And here we are again.
– But these are the winter ones. Hence the snow.
– Of course. We don't tend to do all that well, do we? I mean, in things like skiing. Or skating. Or bobsleighing. Or anything, really.
– I suppose we are at something of a disadvantage, with our balmy climate. It's alright for these Nordic and alpine types, who have snow literally on tap, and can practise their sledging whenever the fancy takes them. But for us, in this sceptred isle, this blessed plot, this England, we are at a bit of a loose end.
– There are always the indoor ski slopes. And skating rinks. And Scotland.
– It is not the same. It's rather like the last Olympics: we aren't really set up for things like beach volleyball. It just doesn't work on the average British beach. Especially with shingles. It's the same with the winter Olympics.
– We have had success in the past: figure skating; ice dancing; curling.
– They are few and far between. Mind you, maybe it is time for the next British Winter Olympic champion to step forward. Or perhaps slide forward.