Having watched a lot of football over the last week, as the World Cup continues to serve up a feast of thrilling goal- and controversy-strewn matches, last night was something of a shock to the system when I watched practically nothing. To tell the truth, I did manage half of one game, but compared to the vertiginous heights of recent days, that still represented a positive famine. Instead, I was entertained at my daughter's high school production of We Will Rock You, the classic heart-warming stage musical based on the majestic rock anthems of Queen, held implausibly together by the faintest sniff of a plot.
At this point I begin to realise that my skills as a theatre critic are as abysmal as my skills as a sports commentator. Go easy on the adjectives, they say, and chuck out adverbs altogether, along with the semi-colon and the subordinate clause. Keep it simple and direct. Appeal to the senses. Preferably limit yourself to one sentence per paragraph.
I try my best. But it is not easy writing about things you like: glowing praise rapidly starts to sound gushing. Perhaps that is why critics tend to spend most of their time tearing things to pieces: perhaps it is simpler. And you get to use juicier adjectives.
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