Pumpkin

– It seems to have quietened down.
– Yes... In what way, exactly?
– The endless procession of trick-or-treaters beating down the door in pursuit of sweets.
– Of course... There weren't that many.
– There were enough.
– And most of them were quite young: mere infants.
– They start them early nowadays. But it's no excuse: if you give in to them, they'll only come back for more next year.
– But if you don't treat them, they may play some unwelcome trick.
– I'd like to see them try.
– I'm not sure you could do much about it. Especially when you're outnumbered. Perhaps discretion is the better part of valour. Just bribe them and they will go away.
– It is for their own good. They need to learn that you cannot make a success of your life through threats and extortion. And, besides, all that sugar will ruin their teeth.
– You could try healthier treats. Raw vegetables are good for you, they say.
– Do you think they would take kindly to a selection of cruditiés?
– Perhaps not. Or try hard cash. You could encourage them to begin saving for their old age.
– But again, is that the lesson you want to impart? That they do not have to work for their financial security, but that it will just be handed to them for nothing?
– Not quite for nothing: they do make an effort to get dressed up. Usually as something gruesome, but at least it shows willing.
– But still, it's hardly a serious profession.