Rosette

– You know, I've not been canvassed yet this year.
– You haven't? I wish I could help. But I'm all out of – canvas. Not even a scrap of  tarpaulin to hand, I'm afraid.
– Usually parliamentary candidates like to engage with their constituents by accosting them on the high street or the doorstep.
– I'm not sure I would be very keen on that – Mr Cameron or Mr Miliband turning up at my front door.
– It's unlikely they would turn up themselves: at best you might get your local MP. Or some callow youth delivering leaflets.
– But even so, what would you say to them?
– I think you would find they have plenty of questions. They would ask your opinion on all manner of local and national issues.
– So they would take my opinion seriously when it comes to deciding on future policy?
– I doubt it. The main reason for knocking on your door is to convince you to vote for them. If they pretend to listen to your complaints, it's only to persuade you that they are on your side. Which in practice they rarely are.
– Do I need to invite them in? Make them a cup of tea or something?
– Not unless you are particularly keen on them, or there are television cameras hovering in the background: it's become quite popular in this election to be filmed in your kitchen.
– Only I don't tend to keep that much in – though there's usually a packet of biscuits at the back of the cupboard.
– I'm sure that would be fine. If you're too hospitable, you will never be rid of them.