Wiped

– There you go – didn't I tell you?
– Tell me what?
– That it would be a simple matter to fix your laptop and stop it crashing continually.
– Not sure I remember much about what you suggested. In the end I just wiped everything and reinstalled Windows.
– Exactly.
– Which I'm not entirely sure was one of your recommendations. However, I do remember your comment about flinging it into the dustbin and buying a new one. And I think before the flinging into the dustbin there was something about the hearty application of a large hammer, along the lines of demonstrating to the laptop that humans were intrisically superior to machines and would no longer tolerate being made fools of in our own living-rooms.
– That was perhaps more to vent your frustration and give your self-confidence a bit of a boost, underlining that you were in control of the situation, and that sort of thing. Clearly, the laptop isn't capable of understanding what's going on.
– I think that was apparent after you had shouted at it for a good half hour.
– I wasn't sure if you had any speech recognition set up.
– No. For the laptop's sake, I'm glad I hadn't.