New

– A New Year! A new beginning!
– It is the third of January. Not quite the beginning, but a few days in.
– I know, but things have been hectic recently. And three days represents less than 1% of the year, which is well within experimental error. In terms of the spirit of the thing, this is still the beginning.
– If you say so.
– Because, if anything, rash and unrealistic resolutions have probably faltered by now anyway, so it is the ideal time to make some new ones.
– Mine haven't faltered.
– That's good to hear. Dogged perseverance is a noble virtue.
– Mainly because I never made any.
– How did you not make any? Everyone makes resolutions.
– Do they? It all seemed a little futile.
– That's why I was saying how useful it is to begin again – to put aside these understandable, if somewhat feeble, doubts and to look to improving all the glaring deficiencies in your character.
– Thank you. And what are these glaring deficiencies?
– It's not for me to say. But if it's of any help, I happen to have a list.
– You've been writing lists of my faults?
– That comes across as quite negative, you know. Think of them as opportunities.
– You've been writing lists of my opportunities to correct my faults?
– You see, that sounds much more positive.
– It appears to be quite a long list.
– I was trying to prioritise the more noticeable ones.
– And is this particular list before or after prioritisation?
– After, I'm afraid.