Lemon

– It's not really the same, is it?
– Sorry?
– Pancakes without lemon juice. It's not really the same.
– Well, these things happen. When one has been severely ill all week, and indeed still feeling far from being one hundred per cent, the shopping unfortunately gets a little fragmentary. On the plus side, there are plenty of eggs. But unfortunately no lemon juice.
– What happened to the yellow squeezy thing in the fridge?
– The one that had been there since last Shrove Tuesday? It walked out of its own accord and hurled itself into the bin, in a selfless act to spare us a bout of acute food poisoning. But there are plenty of other things in the cupboard you can have with pancakes. Jam, they say, works well.
– I don't know. Sometimes you just want lemon juice.
– There are some satsumas in the fruit bowl, as an alternative citrus.
– They are the wrong colour.
– I believe the classic Crêpe Suzette involves oranges. You could pretend that these humble British pancakes were actually stylish French crêpes. And we could empty a bottle of something inflammable over the top to flambé them.
– I suppose it would at least hide the fact that they are burnt to begin with.