Roast

– How can it all be done?
– I don't know. It just is.
– All of it?
– I think so. Maybe I will think of something by tomorrow morning, and nip out quickly. Sparkling water maybe: it's always useful to have some on hand. But it's hardly essential. How about yourself?
– Well, I take a rather more traditional approach to my gift and food shopping, and purposefully leave it all to Christmas Eve.
– Is there a good reason for that?
– Clearly, you can take full advantage of the January sales, which will probably start tomorrow. Also, you can avoid the frantic queues in the supermarket, as everyone else has been rushing around for the past few days, leaving the aisles free for me.
– And possibly free of food.
– There is a chance of that. But, realistically, there will be something left on the shelves. Maybe not anything you would normally consider festive enough for your Christmas lunch, but sometimes it is more rewarding to challenge convention. And, say, have fish fingers.
– I'm sure they would go very well with roast potatoes.
– Indeed.
– And cranberry sauce.
– You would be surprised. Anyway, what else is there to do on Christmas Eve?
– I'm behind with my housework.
– Who isn't? That is the point of housework: its sole purpose is to make you feel inadequate. Just ignore it, and enjoy some more Christmas shopping.
– I don't need anything. Apart from sparkling water. And fish fingers.